"When I lost control of my bladder and wet the cushion on my favourite chair I was mortified. The chair wasn’t even mine. I was staying with my son Terry and his wife, Margaret, while I recovered from a hip fracture. When my granddaughter made a fuss about me being locked in the toilet I was furious – I was trying to get the stains off the cushion! I felt embarassed.
Margaret came running and even though I felt awful afterwards, I told her to mind her own business in no uncertain terms. I thought I’d got away with it but nothing gets past Margaret.
She kept dropping these hints about seeing the GP and I could feel myself getting hot under the collar about it all. I’m not sitting there telling some doctor I can’t control my bladder! I thought it’d clear up once the hip mended but it just got worse.
One afternoon, Margaret came into the kitchen with a magazine article. It was obvious what she was up to so, after I’d told her to mind her own business yet again, she told me exactly what she thought too! Apparently I’d blocked the downstairs loo with all the cotton wool I was using and she told me everyone in the house knew about my problem because they could smell it! You can imagine how horrified I was, but after I had calmed down a bit, I agreed to let Margaret take me to the doctor.
Our GP was really nice about it and said that she had at least three patients a week with my condition – and that they were no more nor less proud than me. I was very surprised to hear how common it is. Well, it’s not something you talk about is it? I’ve never been one to rely on others and I found it hard letting Terry and Margaret take over – I suppose I gave Margaret a bit of a hard time.
A few months later, I ended up even more reliant on the family. My hip started playing up worse than ever and, to my horror, I was actually confined to a wheelchair. It was all very distressing but Margaret and I muddled through. In a way, I think it actually brought us closer – you can’t be dishonest with someone who has to help you in the bathroom department!
The best thing is, with the help of Margaret and the information from our GP I feel as though I have my dignity back. I’m not afraid of embarrassing leaks or smells and feel I can relax and chat with the grandchildren and encourage them to give their Mum a break every now and then. I use incontinence pads during the day and incontinence pants at night as I feel they are more secure. There’s not a great deal I can do about getting on in years and having a dodgy hip but I’m still enjoying family life for as long as I can".