Almost half of women say that they were unprepared for the menopause.

Most of us don’t even realize when our own mums, aunties or mother figures go through it. Our many, varied experiences are brushed under the carpet by shame and indifference. Let’s change that for good, by asking questions and listening properly to the answers.

Here are some questions that you could use to kickstart the conversation:

‘What did you least expect about the menopause?’

‘What do you wish you’d known about the menopause?’ 

‘What’s the menopause actually like?’ 

‘What are the good bits, your menopause highlights?’ 

‘Is there anything I can do to make it easier for you?’ 

Or, if you’re talking to someone who’s been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, you could ask: 

‘Is there anything that made the menopause easier for you?’

Let‘s make this the last generation of women going through the menopause unprepared.

Let’s make this the #lastlonelymenopause

We asked some women who’ve been through it some questions about the menopause

We hope their answers speak to how valuable it is to ask these questions and have these conversations. Check out our infrequently Asked Questions for a snapshot of what the menopause is really like as told by the experts (those who’ve actually been through it).

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The menopause is full of ups and downs, and it’s different for everybody.

There are 48 symptoms (but most of us can’t name three!) and each perimenopausal experience offers up its own surprising symptom cocktail. Some of us breeze through it like it’s nothing, and some of us battle with a smorgasbord of symptoms for 12 years. Yep, that’s right, it can last up to 12 years. 

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39% of people think menopausal women are invisible in the media and in our culture.

So let’s take matter into our own hands and ask the menopausal people in our lives what it’s like for them. That way we can better support those going through it and understand the menopause better – making us all better equipped to navigate this life-stage, rogue beard hairs and all.

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“What’s menopause like?”

Watch Aby, Ingi, and Sandie share their true menopause stories.

“I was perimenopausal at 35.”

Aby struggled with brain fog and memory loss throughout her menopause. Her sex drive disappeared too, which affected her husband. But she’s discovered that getting older has its benefits. 
 
Watch Aby’s story now.

“I have more hair on my face than I do on my head”.

Ingi’s appearance altered when she started her menopause, but the biggest change was in her personality. In this video she and her girls discuss mood swings, sleepless nights, and the power of asking ‘are you alright?’. 
 
Watch Ingi’s story now.

“I asked my doctor to test me for early dementia”.

When Sandie started to experience memory loss, she had no idea it was related to the menopause. Her advice – write everything down in a notebook and talk to someone about your experience. 
 
Watch Sandie’s story now.

More about menopause

See all our articles on menopause and how to manage it.